I am a twenty three year old guy and I have always known I am bisexual.  I didn’t know that word until about middle school, but  as soon as I knew what it meant I knew it applied to me.  I have never denied it to myself and have always accepted it as part of me.  But even as I child I new I should keep it to myself long before I even understood why.  I have told a few of my closest friends over the years and they have all been cool with it.  they were kind of surprised, but no one cared.  I only talk to two of these friends after the rest moved when we all finished school.  I am making new friends and meeting a lot of new people, and I feel like I should be able to be more open about myself around them.  I have recently told one more of my closest friends and I plan to tell my best  friend who is the only one I am close to that doesn’t know.  These people are all people I trust and I know care and I know they won’t see me any differently, and have given me more confidence in being who I am.  I have always felt like I should come out about it and have always wanted to, and I have never thought it would be such a tough thing to do, and such a process as well.  I really underestimated it all.  I have always seen the hardships that people of different sexualities face, and I have always thought that its awful that these people are treated like second class citizens.  But the more I try to live openly, the more I realize that I am one of those people and these problems are mine.  Things like coming out, hoping I fall in love with a woman and not a man so I could actually get married, it’s all a lot harder than I thought.  I feel much better since I started to tell the people that matter to me, but I am still anxious with a slight bit of doubt.  It’s weighing down on me more than ever , and I have a knot in my gut thinking about it.  Do I go with my heart and just do what I really want to do, or do I let that feeling in my gut take over and just keep it to myself?  And how do I deal with the fact that I have to live under an establishment that I feel has no respect for me as a human being?  It’s all a lot to take in and even though I have awesome friends, I don’t feel they truly understand how I feel right now, and It would be nice to talk to someone who does.