Recently I felt a certain attraction towards men… but I’ve always felt attracted towards women. I used to masturbate to straight porn, and messed with a few chicks, now I’m questioning my sexuality because I watched a gay porn and it made my heart beat really fast so I experimented and masturbated, I came really fast. I’m really confused… I feel attracted to some guys but wouldn’t consider ever dating a guy. Maybe I’m gay and having a hard time excepting it?? Am I gay?
Sean
I am assuming by your question that you're probably in your late teens or early 20s. I can also tell you that things that are secret or taboo tend to excite us. Society is so caught up in the idea in categorizing us and labeling us that we ourselves sometimes feel some odd obligation to define ourselves as straight or gay or bi, when the very idea that every person has to fall into one of these three categories is kind of absurd. Don't give in to pressure to identify your sexuality before that is important to you. Men, particularly at your age, are extremely sexual and are turned on by just about anything. In your own time, you will come to realize for your self whether you want to create a life and have a relationship with another man or another woman. Just because you got turned on by a gay porn only means you got turned on by something you found exciting. Nobody can tell you if you are gay or straight and hopefully the day will come when people don't make such a big deal about labeling us either way. May I ask about your comment that you wouldn't consider ever dating a guy. Is it because you have no interest romantically in men, or because you have a problem with the very idea of a romantic interest in other men? What is really good is that you are open to the different possibilities in your own mind. It sounds like you want to find out who you are, and that's a great thing. Forget about who somebody says you're supposed to be and just figure out who you are and be true to yourself. I hope you will write back with a little more information about what you are thinking. I also want to ask if you know of any gay men, in your surroundings, whom you admire? I am always interested to know if young men who may be gay have people they see as role models with whom they can identify.
Kelly
Are you gay? I don't think it's as definitive as that. Are you still attracted to women? Do you like having sex with women? If so, you may be bisexual or just curious about the unknown. The only one that can truly answer your question is you. I have a feeling you are afraid of the label of being gay and the stigma society puts on it. Follow your heart, but be safe in doing so.
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