Gay Question and Answer Archive

My best friend Kevin and I have been extremely close over the past ten years. We have shared many milestones in each others’ lives and given each other both hard times and great ones! However, ever since the beginning I have always felt as though Kevin has been uncomfortable in his skin. Kevin comes from a conservative, religious family with very strong opinions on everything from homosexuality to immigration policy. All the men in his family play hockey, go hunting, own huge diesel trucks, and drink the same brand of beer. Kevin himself has adopted similar practices despite not liking beer, and wanting to drive a hybrid. More concerning though, he has internalized many of his family’s views: including ones that cause him to openly shame homosexuality. Despite (or perhaps in spite of) his view on being gay, Kevin was also teased relentlessly throughout Junior and High School for “being gay.” Even after graduation he has always denied this accusation to everyone – but in private conversation, Kevin has hinted towards not being attracted to women, and has often expressed a feeling of confusion and being uncomfortable in his own skin. This has led to extreme depression and even anger issues. I know it is not my place to “label” him as being gay or not – and it doesn’t matter to me if he is or isn’t. I would just like to know what I can do to help support him in his search for his sexuality, and if it is possible to reverse or neutralize the damaging discrimination that has surrounded him.

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