Val

Thanks for the question! I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told my 15 yr. old cousin who showed me a picture she had taken on her phone during class, of her baby butch girl crush, whom she was exchanging pictures with (Did I mention during class?) ... put the phone down (Or whatever you may have your hand on), stop fooling around and focus on your studies.

This is a very very very important time in your academic career. What you do now will set you up for which college you will potentially get into, as well as any competitive programs that would look at your scholastic history in high school. Study hard and stay focused. High school goes by so fast, although it may not seem that way now. The real fun starts in college and you should definitely have that goal in mind.

If you want to get to know him, I would say try to find some common ground between you two that involves school. Extra curricular activities and/or sports not only look great on your record, but you'll build important skills like teamwork, leadership, discipline, and self esteem. What is sexier than that? Just remember, you're in class not a bar so keep it appropriate to your surroundings. Ask him how he's doing in class, with the homework, if he needs a study partner, etc... that way you can gauge him and break the ice.

Justin

You are not out of the closet. Accomplishing what you desire would put that status at risk because you cannot realistically expect the teenage guy in question to keep any secret you share with him. There is undeniable risk to coming out of the closet, and you must not come out of the closet until you are absolutely ready. Coming out of the closet prematurely would be foolish. Your safety, emotional well-being, and reliance on crucial forms of parental support must be your primary focus. You do not have to explain or defend the reasons you are still in the closet. You are only fifteen. Every reason you have for staying in the closet is completely valid. It is not a failure to still be in the closet at fifteen or any other age if the reality of your individual circumstances prevents you from coming out of the closet. You do not owe the truth to people who would use it against you. Pat yourself on the back for being keenly in touch with the reality of your circumstances. I admire that quality in you tremendously.

In a perfect world, you would be able to be as open about your sexuality as the non-gay students attending your school are and be able to interact with your crush on the basis of honesty; but that day has not yet come to your town. It’s not fair that you should have to live in the closet, and I am terribly sorry that you are experiencing that injustice. Know that you are not alone. Many gay teens across America and every other nation of the world are facing a similar situation. Be patient. We are all on our own unique journey, and romantic relationships with guys will be a part of yours when the time is right for you. You’ll know intuitively when that time has come. In the meantime, I lovingly suggest that you not do anything to jeopardize your current status of being in the closet at school. I understand that you have the same social needs your non-gay peers at school have, and I would like to help you meet those needs. Your school does not have to be the beginning and end of your social world. Golden opportunities await you beyond the grounds of your school. Many gay community service centers exist. They exist in surprising places because gay people are everywhere. Some of these community service centers provide programs specifically designed to meet the social needs of gay teens by providing a setting where they can safely interact with one another. I do not know where you live, but I did some research of my own for you by using the internet. I discovered that the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center in Los Angeles, California operates a facility called the Jeff Griffith Youth Center, which provides counseling and social services. The phone number to the Jeff Griffith Youth Center is 323-860-2280. I suggest that you call that number. You do not have to give your name. Inform whoever answers the phone that you are a closeted gay teenager looking for a safe place in your area where you can interact with other gay teens. If you don’t live in or near Los Angeles, ask the person who answers the phone if he can refer you to an organization that provides social services to teens in your local area. I think you’ll find that whoever answers the phone when you call will be very caring and helpful. I'm optimistic that with a little effort you will be able to find just the right place to safely meet and interact with gay teenagers just like you away from the school where you still need to be in the closet; and when you do, you'll have plenty of opportunity for flirting with cute guys - flirting that could even lead to responsible teen dating. Please keep us posted as to your progress, and do not hesitate to let us know if there is any additional way that we can be of help to you.

I wish you fair winds and following seas.

Kelly

If he's always around you, talk to him. Become friends with him and hang out together outside of school. After hanging out together I think it will be apparent to each of you whether or not there is interest in taking the friendship to the next level. My advise is to take your time - don't rush things and always trust your gut.