Hi… So, I’m 12 years old, I know, young. But I started seventh grade and I met this girl in my band class, she is lesbian and proud of it, she is out and tells the truth about it. We were pretty much best friends, but then I don’t know what happened, I started to question my sexuality and I feel like I like her… Now, she likes/loves me and told me that herself, she is very nice to me and caring and sweet, it makes me feel nice. I agreed after a while to date her and she knows I am still unsure of this. So know I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I really am or if we we’re just really close and if I am I don’t know how to come out to people, I’m terrified of that… Now for some information about her, she has had it rough and due to that I’m not exactly sure if she is transgender or not she dresses like a boy and wants people to call her “Andrew” or “Andy” and she has felt that way since she was younger but when I’m with her we never went and tried to talk about it like that an she never fully out told me. But she is sure of everything and I am still confused. Now after me rambling on and on and on I shall cut my question to the point. How do I know if I am Bisexual? If I am how could I come out of the closet? & If I am not Bisexual, how do I tell my girlfriend because hurting her is the last thing I would ever want to do? Thank you to all for are willing to help me with my situation.
5 Comments
Hi, thanks for the question. If I can impart any wisdom here, it would be to not put pressure on yourself. Always act with grace, compassion, and honesty and you will have a life filled with happiness and abundance. And it sounds like you are on your way.You sound like a smart young person, so I know you will have a very bright future ahead yourself. Your gf is out and sure of her identity and that is great, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to label yourself right now. If you are unsure, then just be honest and tell her that you are still figuring out your sexuality. Honesty is always the best policy. Also, you shouldn’t feel pressure to come out. You should only come out if you feel safe to do so. At your young age, you don’t want to disrupt your family life, as you depend on your parents financially.
I was in a problem sort of like this in highschool. Talk 2 ur gf about the transgender thing and coming out. She is already out so she can help u as far as bullying. Remember that you shouldn’t come out until ur 100% sure u want 2. I hope I helped u out some!
Wow your gf sounds like the understanding type of person. You dont get that very often! Talk to her and see what’s going on. Most of the time when people don’t talk about serious stuff like that it’s because something’s bothering them. You know if something’s bothering her if she pulls away while your kissing or holding hands and stuff like that. Oh and about coming out, if your gf is out and has no bullying problems then you should’nt have problems but you might want to make sure you really like this girl first and that its not one of those “two week relationships.”
You know if your bisexual if this girl makes you happier than other people can. If she doesn’t then just tell her, I’m sure she will understand. You sound like you need to have a long talk about the transgender thing, your feelings, and coming out. Make sure you listen to her because she is out and knows what it’s like. Be sure you think long and hard because it’s not everyday you find some one with those characteristics. You don’t want to make a mistake you will regret forever.
Thanks so much! From all of you, you have helped a lot we have been talking to each other about it a lot too. But now since people have started to find out I’m being pressured a lot and I’m scared to say anything and it really bothers me and I don’t know how to make decisions cause I really don’t like hurting people… It’s really frustrating. :/