I’m 18, and I’ve been trying to figure out this question the past several years of my life: what’s my sexuality? I really am not sure which at this point.  I’ve never had any sexual experiences, if you wanted to know. I did date one guy for three months, but it was completely platonic, as we only met once or twice during our relationship (don’t worry, I’d known him for five years before we started dating). I think I am attracted to guys, as I’ve had a few crushes here and there (but they all died away at some point). I don’t have a crush on anyone right now, guy or girl. And I’ve never had any girl crushes.   As to why I think I may be gay… well, okay. I feel awkward when girls are being (I don’t know how to put this any other way) sexy. I feel like I want to look away, and when I do look, I feel uncomfortable. I’ll give you an example to make it clearer. Today I was at our school’s pep rally, and when the dance team (the cool version of the cheer team in our school) did their dance, I found myself holding my breath, as if I couldn’t breathe because the air was suddenly stuffy. I didn’t feel turned on though – I just felt awkward watching their dance.  Another time a girl hugged me, and (okay, this is going to sound really awkward, but) when she did, our chests hit, and I felt this really weird tingly sensation in my chest, though I wasn’t turned on. Is it just because my chest was touched?  I’ve also had two dreams, to be exact, about me kissing the same girl. She’s a longtime friend of mine (I’ve known her since lower school), and whenever I hang out with her she’s all touchy-feely, which, to be honest, kind of weirds me out and makes me want to get away from her or stop her from touching me. I don’t know if it’s just me overthinking it or something, but we’ll be hanging out in my room, and she’ll be rolling around on my bed (she’s super ADD, so she’s sometimes hard to handle) and her top will come up a little. I’ll notice it, but then get sort of annoyed at her actually and think to myself, Why is she trying to act sexy? Reading my previous sentence, I know it sounds as though I’m trying transfer the blame to her and ignore my “feelings”, if it is that, but honestly, the girl really does act way more touchy-feely than a normal friendship between girls would permit. (And as a side note, I don’t really like people touching me. I like my personal space). Like if we’re watching a movie at her house, she’ll cling onto my arm and snuggle against me. Those times I think to myself, I’m not your lover! Get a boyfriend or girlfriend if you want to touch someone so badly. I guess, to sum it up, all her touching does is piss me off and weird me out, as well as make me hyper-aware of her.  As for male anatomy… when I think about it and (excuse me for saying it) having to sucking on it if I were ever in a serious relationship, I feel disgusted. But on the other hand, I have no lust for girl parts either. So does that make me asexual? I don’t think it does make me asexual though, because I, well, read gay (guy on guy) porn in comic form, and, to be honest, it turns me on. As for my girl and guy relationships… although I have more girl friends than guy friends, which don’t total up to that many since I’m a bit of a loner, I get along with my guy friends better and have more fun with them. The types of girls that make friends with me are sometimes of… well, annoying. I’m pretty laid back and don’t take jokes to seriously, and I’m not girly at all: I’m too lazy to wear makeup and my contacts (though I wear my contacts more often than makeup, which I only wear to school dances), and I don’t like shopping. So all in all, I have no idea what the heck my sexuality is. Reading this on an objective level, do you think I’m a closeted gay? Straight? Bi? Asexual? Is the information I’ve given not enough to make even an educated guess? Thanks if you can. 🙂