Hey so let’s just say my name is Holly, I’m 13 and in 8th grade right now. So for like all my life I’ve been a tom boy, I guess you could say I was born gay or what not because even then I guess I had crushes on girls, but I thought that was normal since I was a tom boy, in 6th grade I really started noticing that me liking girls and stuff meant I was a lesbian or bisexual. I’m still not completely “out” to my family, just my sister, my friends, and the school social worker. My friends I mean have been on and off supporting me, like some say they are okay with it when they are really not. And it also sucks because sometimes I start liking my friends as more than a friend. Now its about 8th grade, and I decided to donate my hair, so I did, and it’s really short now, like boy short. and to tell you the truth I kinda like it that way, but the thing that bothers me is most people that don’t know me think I’m a guy, and it’s really awkward and sorta hurtful when I have to go in the girls locker room or the girls bathroom. What should I do about that? and also I do wish I was a boy, but like I was researching transgender people and their life seems really hard and complicated. like I don’t even know what to do about my feels about wanting to be a boy, or about what I should do about this whole being mistaken for a boy thing in public places. help? please:\\
Hi, thanks for the question. Congrats on cutting your hair and donating it. That's a very worthy endeavor and you should be proud. I wouldn't worry about the looks you get in public. Most people don't take the time to really look at people in public, so they're assuming you're a guy by just glancing at you, then verifyng your gender if you happen to be in a public restroom. At a place I frequent, there is a unisex bathroom,in a addition to a mens and womens room, and I had assumed it was for mixed gender people. Well, low and behold, everyone is using it now, and it's quite the busy room these days. I think more and more businesses are adding these types of restrooms. So, expect looks from people in public places, mainly because they don't know any better. Also, although transitioning from one gender to another can be challenging, it can also be very gratifying. Imagine living your life as one gender, knowing inside that you really are another gender. It is really transitioning to your correct gender. Also, alot of transgendered people don't choose to transition completely for financial reasons or other concerns.