Gay Question and Answer Archive

I have been with this guy for almost a year now and we like each other. I asked him last night if this is going somewhere if he’s going make any changes after me taking every step to make him comfortable and happy. I told him that I don’t think I can hide who I am anymore (I’m openly gay but we been doing that in secret) I was hoping for him to say that he will make changes or to be patient but its going somewhere but he took it to different level saying that he’s not ready to tell anyone not even one person in our group and he doesn’t know when he’s going to be ready for that and that he knows thats its unfair for me and he just left making me choose between him and my freedom so what should I do should I continue this or move on and what should I tell him or ask him. Thank You

2 Comments

  1. Val Jul 8, 2013 at 13:17

    If he’s not ready to come out, then you can’t force him. Did he lead you to believe otherwise when you first started dating? If so, then shame on him. However, if he didn’t and you knew he was in the closet then really you must abide by his wishes of not wanting to come out. If you can live like that, then stay with him. If you feel you can’t fully express your identity because of his closet, then you should not proceed further. The longer you wait, the more heartbroken you will feel if things do end.

    Reply

  2. Michael May 30, 2014 at 19:03

    He’ll come out when he is ready. Having someone come out when they aren’t ready could end badly.

    Reply

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