Bisexual Question and Answer Archive

I have a few bi friends, but one of them really concerns me lets call her Janine. I think, as bad as this sounds, she fooled herself into thinking that she is truly Bi. We live in one of the most gay-friendly cities ever, her parents have no problem with homosexuality, all our friends are chill with it, some of the most popular kids at school are Gay. None of this would make her decide she would suddenly become bi, but she had always really wanted a significant other like any other teenage girl. She found out a friend, a bi girl (lets call her Monica), had a crush on her. Suddenly she becomes bi and decides she likes her back. This would just be high school drama but it has lasted around two years now. They aren’t public to anyone outside our small group of friends, they don’t show affection other than standing really close in front of anyone, and they haven’t done more than kiss lightly. It’s really weird to me. Monica has a lot of problems without having a serious relationship possibly being fake. Monica has already been through a fight with cancer, dealing with being trans-gender (her family would never accept this), and never hangs out with anyone without Janine around (unlike before they where together). I love both my friends with all my heart, but I am worried that this is going to end very badly for both of them. I am also worried that I may be completely out of line and am just assuming way to much. I have heard about this happening before though. I really have no idea what to do or think. Any insight would be valuable to me.

Val

Thanks for the question. You appear to be a very caring friend and the girls are lucky to have you in their lives. I would say regarding the relationship between Janine and Monica, you should let it ride its course without interjecting. I say this because sometimes no matter how good the intention may be, if and when things go sour, it will be too easy for one or both to try and blame you for the failed relationship. You don't want to lose friends because someone labels you as a meddler. The good news is that Janine and Monica are young and the experiences each gains now will be the building blocks of their future. Be the good friend that you are and always show support and be there with a lending ear, for each of them.

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