So there’s this guy who lives in my dorm who I think is a closet case. This is so because he has a girlfriend, and yet I was walking in the hallway of our dorm only to see him with his girlfriend and a bunch of his other friends (btw he’s the very sensitive Cancer type male). I walk by and say hi to everyone, but immediately turn my attention toward him, and when he says hi, he winks at me and smiles. Am I over-thinking things? Or is he extremely gay? I guess I’m asking, if a guy winks at another guy, does that make him gay? I’m a guy btw
Val
I wouldn't say it makes him extremely gay, or even gay for that matter. It may be the case that he is straight and comfortable with his sexuality to give you a wink. That being said, if there is some sort of chemistry between you two, then there is more to this than a casual wink.
AMW
Dangerous ground. If he is in the closet. Leave him be. When he is ready, he will come out. As for now, just be your cool, charming self. If he feels safe and if he is gay. He will let you know.
Justin
No. Winking at another guy does not make a guy gay.
You are reading way too much into his simple gesture. You cannot safely assume that he harbors latent homosexual tendencies simply because he winked at you on a single occasion. His winking at you can be explained by other reasons that are perfectly plausible and innocent, but not apparent to you at this time. Perhaps he felt it was the only way he could politely acknowledge your presence while still remaining fully engaged with a plethora of friends who were already demanding his attention before you arrived in the hallway of the dorm where you are both residents. Perhaps he is so self-assured of his own heterosexuality that he feels comfortable publicly acknowledging an openly gay male in a friendly manner that many openly gay males would obviously appreciate. Given the circumstances you have described, no one can know for certain why he winked at you without asking him. However, your current understanding is that he is a straight male who is romantically attached to a girlfriend; and you should conduct yourself accordingly. Other people’s boyfriends are off limits to anyone else who may have romantic designs on them. You are not responsible for what he does. If he is unable to keep a commitment to his girlfriend, he has a problem that is none of your business. Your only obligation is to make certain that you do the right thing. Do not pursue any romantic interest you have in him until he becomes unattached from his current girlfriend. He and his girlfriend are not Bill and Hillary Clinton, and you do not want to be anything like Monica Lewinsky.
I thank you for your tasty question, and I wish you fair winds and following seas.
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