Kelly

You DON'T, unless of course you have been open and honest with your wife and she is ok with you exploring your curiosity. If you do cheat on your wife and you find that you like being with men do your wife a favor and tell her right away - don't string her along while you go on having affairs with men. And for your wife's sake wear protection and for that matter don't continue having sex with her if you are screwing around. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Justin

"THERE IS NO REFUGE FROM MEMORY AND REMORSE IN THIS WORLD. THE SPIRITS OF OUR FOOLISH DEEDS HAUNT US - WITH OR WITHOUT REPENTANCE." - GILBERT PARKER

You are a bisexual man on the verge of morality breakdown. Fortunately, your inner voice of intuition is desperately trying to save you from that fate. It was your intuition that told you to seek the guidance of an objective third party whose advice you feel you can trust, and I applaud you for having listened to it. You should always abide by your intuition, for it is God speaking to you.

If you authentically came to the realization of the true nature of your sexual orientation only after the inception of your marriage, you have done nothing shameful up until now. It would have been more convenient for everyone concerned if you had been able to come to your realization prior to being married, but life does not always unfold in a perfectly neat sequential order. Our world is imperfect in many ways. That imperfection can be seen, for example, in the culture in which you and your wife met, fell in love, and got married; for it still attaches a stigma to sexual orientations other than heterosexuality. That lingering cultural stigma is undeniably real and powerful, and it can make it difficult for bisexual men to fully realize their sexual orientation according to the same timeline that applies to heterosexual females. No corresponding cultural stigma is attached to the sexual orientation of heterosexual women in our culture. They benefit greatly from an exclusively heterosexual privilege denied to gay and bisexual men. Consequently, it is not the least bit surprising that your wife was more in touch with the true nature of her sexual orientation than you were with yours at the time of your marriage.

Although you have not actually done anything shameful yet, it would be shameful for you to enact the sexual plans you have seriously been contemplating in response to your realization. Your current predicament of being married to a woman who believes that you are heterosexual when you are actually bisexual is an uncommonly stressful one, and it has understandably left you confused. Anyone unfortunate enough to be caught in a similar predicament would be able to appreciate the enormity of the stress impinging upon you. In light of that stress, one can easily forgive you for having temporarily lost your moral bearings and for having forgotten the simple truth that your bisexuality cannot excuse immoral behavior; and I pray that you will forgive yourself for that brief and minor lapse in good judgment. You, however, must now move forward; and as you do, it is imperative that you remember that you had a moral compass that guided your actions while you were mistakenly convinced that you were heterosexual. I lovingly urge you to let only that same moral compass guide you now that you are fully aware of your bisexuality. If you do, you will surely understand that any extramarital affairs in the form of meaningless "McSex" with strangers you meet on Craigslist would be just as immoral now as they have always been because they would jeopardize not just your health, but the health of your innocent and unsuspecting wife, who does not deserve such mistreatment, and because like it or not, you are still morally bound by sacred wedding vows that you took before God, family, and friends.

No soul is meant to live a lie, and you are no exception. Living a lie is a spiritual misalignment that can manifest itself in serious physical and mental states of disease; for the body, mind, and soul are all closely interconnected. Your cry for help makes it abundantly clear that you urgently want to end the hellish lie you are currently living, and you can easily do so. Thankfully, God has blessed all of His children with an infallible antidote to a life based on lies. It’s called the truth.

Tell your wife today the truth about your post-marital realization that you are bisexual and the struggle you’ve had keeping your vow of sexual exclusivity ever since you fully came to that realization. Be grateful that you have not acted upon any of the sexual escapades you impulsively plotted in response to your realization. It is a blessing that the only truth you currently need to reveal to your wife is your realization that you are bisexual instead of heterosexual. Matters would be much worse if you had to additionally confess to extramarital affairs and a resulting sexually transmitted disease. It is possible that your marriage can survive the revelation of your bisexuality. Bisexuals, after all, are just as capable of monogamy as people of any other sexual orientation. Your struggle with monogamy is not connected to your bisexuality, but some other deep-seated issue such as misplaced anger with your wife; and that issue could be successfully dealt with in therapy sessions with a licensed professional. You, however, will have to work together with your wife to decide what the truth of a significant change in the circumstances of your marriage ultimately means for the two of you. I can promise you only one thing. Years from now when you look back on this challenging episode in your life, you will be glad that you told your wife the whole truth sooner rather than later.

I wish you fair winds and following seas.