Justin

"FANTASY ABANDONED BY REASON PRODUCES IMPOSSIBLE MONSTERS." – FRANCISCO GOYA

Your virtual courtship is not real. It can only be regarded as a fantastical, modern day precursor to a potential real-life courtship. Online relationships consist of words only, and words are the most ineffective way possible of judging the character of another person. Actions speak louder than words; and you should primarily judge people by their actions, not their words. Hopefully, you are fully aware of what it means to be a defensive driver. As you contemplate transforming the nature of your courtship from one that has been conducted strictly online in the cyber world to one that is conducted offline in the real world, you must adhere to a strict policy of defensive dating.

You have already stumbled into a couple of online dating's most serious pitfalls. The most obvious one is the fact that you are looking for love in Malaysia while living in the United Kingdom. I smell the spirit of self-sabotage in that choice! Who doesn’t understand the impracticality of such a long distance relationship? Perhaps you subconsciously mean to doom your budding relationship to one that never expands beyond an online intercourse. I suggest that you seriously cogitate what the likelihood of that possibility is. You also made me cringe when you wrote that you have already exchanged home addresses and phone numbers with someone you have only met online. Those two bits of information should never be exchanged online because they enable someone to easily find you offline. Please don’t tell me that you have already given him your last name. I couldn’t bear it.

I know you specifically asked not to be given advice on safety tips for internet dating, but that request is reflective of your self-destructive inclination to ignore what your intuition is strongly telling you. A perfect example of that inclination is your improvident pursuit of a romance with a gentleman who resides continents away from you in Malaysia. Cyberflirtation can quickly turn into cyberstalking. When it comes to virtual relationships of any kind, you cannot be too careful; and you must always abide by your intuitive hunches. Start today to break yourself of the bad habit of always playing the role of victim. Don’t let mindless obstinacy prevent you from learning what you desperately need to know about protecting your personal safety and information. Make the time and effort to research exactly what the widely recommended safety tips for internet dating are. Do it today. Do it for yourself. Do it for the people who are actually in your real life and who love you. Nobody wants to see you get hurt needlessly.

I wish you fair winds and following seas.

AMW

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