My daughter’s boyfriend(age 40+) has been a big part of our life for almost 5 years. My very first impression of him was OMG he’s gay. But I am very close to him and he to me so I try to push this thought out of my mind. But there have been clues to make me think my suspicions were right. He loves “the Wizard of Oz”, David Hasselhoff, the NY Christmas Spectacular etc. He’s prissy(doesn’t like to get his hands dirty by eating ribs)and he loves to shop. Then there is also the fact that he has never been intimate nor passionate with my daughter. Still he feels like part of our family and I cannot imagine him not being in our lives. He has problems with emails and internet and I am like his secretary (send resumes,, write emails for him etc). On two occasions I have seen the subject heading in emails from a male friend of his. The latest one now sent me over the top and is why I am here. The subject sentence said..”sorry guys…love you and all that you love”. With all sincerity and respect can anyone here give me their impression as to whether you think he is gay or not?
Val
Sounds to me like you have accepted him into you and your family's life pushing aside any prejudgment.
Now, five years later, the suspicions you had are causing you renewed distress. When you first met him, did you discuss your concerns about him with your daughter? Certainly, it is understandable that the happiness of your daughter should be paramount to you. I would let her know about your feelings, ask about hers, then gauge her thoughts and understanding about the relationship, and her complicity, if any. I cannot tell you if he is gay or not, because all the gay men I know love eating ribs, and I know plenty of straight men who like Gone With The Wind. As for the email, it is suggestive of some sort of gay double speak, but it would be presumptive to label him, without knowing him or the dynamics of any of his relationships.
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