Justin

"EVERY JOURNEY INTO THE PAST IS COMPLICATED BY DELUSIONS, FALSE MEMORIES, FALSE NAMING OF EVENTS." - ADRIENNE RICH, POET

The animal magnetism of straight guys is undeniably powerful; and with their attention, straight guys can certainly fill an emotional hole felt by many gay guys. However, straight guys are strictly off limits to gay guys when it comes to sexual relationships. Although television’s Mr. Rogers was correct when he told you and the rest of your generation that you are special, do not think for a single second that you are so special that you can miraculously “convert” a straight guy. You can’t; but even if you could, it would be wrong for you to do so because straight guys are just as entitled to their sexuality as gay guys are entitled to theirs; and it is morally incumbent upon you to conduct yourself accordingly. Although these harsh realities of life may be difficult for you to swallow, they entail no real divine injustice to you or any other gay man; for God’s world is characterized by an abundance of available gay men from whom you are welcome to select a suitable romantic partner. Consequently, your need for male companionship can be fully met solely through measures much more appropriate and fruitful than pining for an unavailable straight guy whose kiss was fueled by a noxious, mood-altering depressant, which is exactly what alcohol is. One such measure that you probably haven’t yet considered is expanding your dating pool to include bisexual guys. Bisexual guys are an exquisite gift to all mankind, and they truly are the perfect solution for any gay guy hankering for the strictly forbidden fruit of a straight guy. One of the many glorious attributes of bisexual men is that they are at least partially... straight guys that gay guys can legitimately know romantically. Finally, I loving suggest that you immediately drop your ill-conceived plan to feign the symptoms of amnesia in order to achieve the martyrdom you seek as a just reward for having to live your entire life without ever knowing what it is like to be the object of a straight guy’s romantic affection. Malingering is the medical term used to describe the odious feigning of medical symptoms for the purpose of achieving a secondary gain, and the essential fact that you need to know about malingering is that it always fails to achieve authentic martyrdom for anyone who succumbs to it.

I wish you fair winds and following seas.