Okay, I’m 17 years old black male and I’m 100% sure im gay and I love myself I don’t wanna change but people tell me it’s not just about you, being gay will also effect your family especially when I’m black Sudanese guy, in the Sudanese cultural there is no such thing as gay or being accepted as one, secondly thing that my mothers keeps annoying me with that one day I will get married to a nice girl and take care of her n my father when they get old but is that what I want, why can’t they ask me what I want instead of just giving me something to fill anyway I talk alot because I’m still a closet gay never told anyone, but I think my older sister who is married might know I’m gay and she once told me it would better for you become a drank loser with n, no life no job and no life instead of being gay, that really hurt me but I just try and not listen to her. My main Question is my life my choice in such cultural that hates me and will I ruin their life for being myself, I don’t know how I feel sometimes and once before I tho of killing myself and ending all this but then something told me thats just selfish and it’s not fair on what they will have to deal with it but then another voice tells me its better isn’t it rather bring shame to my family of being gay, I really need someone to talk to me about this or really one I might actually kill myself to stop hurting…Help me Please
Val
LGBTQ people exist everywhere in the world. It just may be the case that where you live people do not validate LGBTQ's lives. You are a brave young man to know who you are at such a young age already. Many people deny their own being for years, and believe me, that is far worse. You don't owe it to anyone to come out if doing so will put your safety in jeopardy. Also, it is not a life choice, it is your sexual identity. Your sexual identity affects no one's life other than your own, just as your sister's sexual identity affects no one but her own life. It's a fallacy to say that a person's sexual identity will bring ruin to a family. People who promote intolerance towards LGBTQ's are not strangers we cannot see. The intolerance is bred out of hatred and ignorance from our own family's, neighbors, and religions. We must change attitudes one heart at a time. We are normal, in many cases more normal than others. We are just same sex oriented. You understand that as every young LGBTQ understands that.
Hillary Clinton gave a historic UN speech on International Human Rights Day, specifically about LGBT issues. Here it is if you missed it: http://bcove.me/qs3211sh
There is a lot of good work being done to gain LGBT equality and I hope someday Sudanese culture will help lead in those efforts. Until then please be safe, and remember your safety comes first.
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Hi, my friend i am writing from caracas, venezuela.I am not an expert but i would like to share my experience with you because I have feel a lot of negativity and confusion lately. Do you feel invaded by negative thoughts?
Well yeah it’s all negative and i dont know if there is hope that will change
Ludwig, will you be kind enough to share your experience so that our readership may benefit from reading your story?
cant you answer my question instead of him plz i need help or just advise
I apologize, I’m having technical problems. This is what should be posted up top: LGBTQ people exist everywhere in the world. It just may be the case that where you live people do not validate LGBTQ’s lives. You are a brave young man to know who you are at such a young age already. Many people deny their own being for years, and believe me, that is far worse. You don’t owe it to anyone to come out if doing so will put your safety in jeopardy. Also, it is not a life choice, it is your sexual orientation. Your sexual orientation affects no one’s life other than your own, just as your sister’s sexual orientation affects no one but her own life. It’s a fallacy to say that a person’s sexual orientation will bring ruin to a family. People who promote intolerance towards LGBTQ’s are not strangers we cannot see. The intolerance is bred out of hatred and ignorance from our own family’s, neighbors, and religions. We must change attitudes one heart at a time. We are normal, in many cases more normal than others. We are just same sex oriented. You understand that as every young LGBTQ understands that.
On Dec. 6, 2011 Hillary Clinton gave a historic UN speech for International Human Rights Day, specifically about LGBT issues. Here it is if you missed it: http://bcove.me/qs3211sh
Alot of good work is being done to stop the injustices being perpetrated against LGBTQ’s, and to promote tolerance around the globe. I hope someday that Sudan will help lead in those efforts. In the meantime, please be safe. Your safety is what matters.
The only way for you to live in this culture (being Gay is not acceptable) is to hide who you are until you leave the country and go somewhere you can be yourself
im not saying its not about you but im sure that you don’t want to disappoint them (not saying that you don’t accept yourself) but in these kind of cultures they don’t look at us the same way we do or the western world does (BTW Im from Egypt)
so your only way is to leave the country and go some where that you can be yourself and start a new life there and keep in touch with your family (if you want to) and don’t tell them anything about your life
it doesn’t hurt if you’re living your life and they don’t know anything about it
and i know they will keep talking about marriage but no one can force you
if you need any help
let me know
you can send me your email and we can chat
cause i know what are you going through cause i went through all these stuff when i was living in Egypt
Moe I keep thinking of doing that but what’s the point of lying to my own parents and not let them know who I really am and what I enjoy instead of showing them a fake me not the real one, doesn’t any parents deserve to know they children and if they reject I guess I just leave but aleast they know the real me even if they dont accept me, I will still be happy cause no more lying or hiding that’s the worst feeling in my life that I hate.