Justin

Congratulations on your recent birthday; I wish you many more. Turning 18 is certainly a noteworthy milestone in our culture on one hand; but on the other hand, 18 is also still a very tender age.

I have had a few more birthdays than you have had, and my experience tells me that one should NOT assign any value to the behavior and words of someone who has been drinking heavily as your friend did the evening of your birthday celebration. You have no way of knowing for certain just who or what was speaking: the alcohol or the person? In situations of heavy alcohol consumption, I would assume that it was the alcohol.

Don't give any credence to what one says under the influence of alcohol. Don't try to judge what someone in that condition says as truthful or deceitful. You will never know; for the virtue of truth and vice of deceit require one to be unimpaired and fully in control of one's faculties, which is not the case if someone has been drinking heavily. If you really want to deal with the person your friend truly is and be able to trust and believe in what he says and does, insist on sobriety. Otherwise, your quest for the truth is nothing but an exercise in futility. Sobriety is your ally, and inebriation is always your foe when looking for the truth.

There are appropriate times for revelry and the imbibing of alcohol. Just always remember to make appropriate plans for your safe return home such as designating a driver who does not partake of alcohol, and don't let alcohol be an excuse to overlook the need to practice safe sex every time. Your safety and the safety of others must be your paramount concern.

You're no longer jailbait, my dear. Enjoy the gift of young adulthood. Thank you for your question to "Ask A Gay Person". Please know that we would love to hear from you anytime with your questions and concerns.

I wish you a boatload of blessings.