Hello, I’m a 21 year old male and I think I’m gay. I’ve grown up in a very conservative family especially in what concerns homosexuality. But, unlike most of the people that are in this situation, my problem is not only to make others accept my homosexuality but to accept it myself at first. In fact the education that I had makes it very difficult to me to adopt a gay lifestyle or to seek a male partner, not only because of the reaction of my family but because it simply doesn’t fit for me. I say that I am gay because I’m very aroused by other men and nearly nothing by women. But this is only sexually speaking because socially I can’t bear the idea of having a male partner and loose the wonderful experience of having a normal family and so on. Besides this, I know that if I come out, I’ll loose all connections with the society to which I belong (that is not only my family but the entire society in which it is inserted) and which I feel right for me concerning my education patterns, because even if people don’t openly discriminate me, I will be seen as “the gay” and not the person who I am. So the problem is: Either I come out and have a life far away from all that I care about and opposite to all my values and education background, although sexually fulfilled or I don’t come out and eventually marry and have a life that is what I want except for the sexual part. Could you give me some advice? PS: When I say that I don’t like the gay lifestyle it has nothing to do with accepting or not gay people. In fact I respect the people who choose this lifestyle, though it’s not the one that I want for me.