Gay Question and Answer Archive

I have become friends with this guy from college who comes from Morocco. He and I are both 18 and started to become good friends, one time we had lunch and hung out and had a great time together. After that, he started acting quite awkward and weird around me. I found out that he and I were dorm roommates next semester and decided to tell him, he knew I was gay from the get-go. He was very excited at first but then he changed his mind over night. He and I had a long talk about why he doesn’t want to be my roommate and he said he doesn’t want homosexuality to be the center of his life. We started talking more and he revealed to me that he fears subconsciously being/becoming gay. I called him out on that because how can a straight person fear being gay? He got a bit distressed after that and our friendship has been a bit iffy since. I’m not flamboyant and he even told me that I don’t fit the stereotype. He made it seem like something sexual was going to happen between us if we lived together, which wasn’t my intention at all. I just wanted a friend, also his other friends didn’t give him a bad time about being friends with me so I don’t think there is any influence that was involved. I understand he comes from a country where being gay is in fact illegal  and that it’s new to him because I was his first gay friend he met. I personally think he’s struggling with the fact that he is in fact gay or bi. Perhaps he became awkward after our lunch together because he realized he might have feelings for me…I don’t know. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Val

Sorry to hear that. He could be making his decision for a variety of reasons, but you should take the one’s he’s given you at face value, and not try and read into them. Hopefully, someday he’ll realize the opportunity he missed to develop a friendship with someone as special as you.

Gabby

I say sit down and have a talk with him. Explain to him that living with a guy doesn't mean you become gay. Explain to him that nothing sexual will happen just because you share a place together. He may be confused but he might just be scared of a different country that has openly gay people around.

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