I am soooo lost. My husband was recently diagnosed with bipolar. After he finally broke down after years of horrific mood swings. He went to counseling and ended up telling the counselor that he has been watching porn and watching BISEXUAL porn, like 2 men with a girl. He got turned on by watching it. He said he would never ACT upon the fantasy and that the though of even kissing a man makes him sick. He thought that I enjoyed the fantasy and by watching the porn involving guys that he would be more comfortable with my fantasies. Well now I am just UNCOMFORTABLE with the whole situation. I asked him straight out if he likes guys or has ever been with one, he says no. I am FREAKED out! I just don’t believe you could be turned on by a male on male sex and NOT be gay/bisexual. So I guess that’s my question….Can you be aroused by a “gay” situation and NOT be gay yourself!?
AMW
Human sexuality is one complicated subject. With the judgments of society and some religions just complicates an already complex subject matter.
The truth is yes. Straight people can be turned on by gay porn as gay people can be turned on by straight porn. The question is whether one will admit it. That is another subject. The reality is the thought and action of sex with another man or kiss of another man does not make him sick at all. I feel he is sharing that as a defense/protective social armor. The fact seems to be that he is very turned on and interested in both sex and kissing a man. His actions of watching this type of porn and using you as an excuse to celebrate his interest is the fact that highlights his confusion.
I would suggest seeking professional counselor as a a couple. You are a married team and you might just need a neutral professional voice in the middle of this sexual discovery.
Good luck and know that you are not alone.
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