What’s the major factor in being gay? I’m tired of being told to get sleep and eat right more vegetables. Is it possible to have the wrong parts?
Val
There is no factor that makes a person gay. A gay person is gay as a straight person is straight. People who try to dismiss our gayness by stating implausible reasons or who try to prescribe dumb cures should be exposed every time for their self-serving real agendas... to promote bigotry and hatred against LGBTQ people.
Justin
Your question brings to mind the character of Dorothy in the movie The Wizard Of Oz, which everybody knows. Dorothy’s soul-burning question is universally recognized. She asked, "How do I get back home to Kansas, where I belong?" You are also facing a question that burns deeply in your soul. You are asking, "How do I reverse the factors making me gay?" A careful review of The Wizard Of Oz will help guide you to the answer you seek.
I’m sure that you will recall that on advice from the Munchkins, Dorothy embarked on a journey down the famed yellow brick road, which is actually a metaphor for the soul’s journey to illumination. Dorothy’s journey taught her not to look for answers to questions of the soul from outside yourself, for the answers will be found within yourself. Dorothy was misguided to take the Munchkins' advice to "follow the yellow brick road" even though the Munchkins were well-intentioned. Why? The answer to Dorothy’s question of the soul could only be answered by her inner voice of intuition. What she needed to do was listen carefully to that voice, not the voice of others, not even the voice of the huggable, kissable Munchkins as kindhearted as they might have been.
Dorothy spent nearly the entire movie trying to reach the supposedly all-knowing Wizard of Oz, for she believed that only he could tell her how to get back home to Kansas. What a waste of time that trip was! At the end of the yellow brick road, what did Dorothy discover? She discovered the shocking truth that the Wizard of Oz was nothing but a charlatan who spouted pure humbuggery while he hid behind a curtain. Ultimately, the only thing he actually ever did for poor Dorothy was to send her on a wild goose chase for the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West, who was, of course, the doppelganger of Almira Gulch, the shrewish spinster from Dorothy’s hometown in Kansas. God bless the Wicked Witch of the West. As far as the movie’s audience can tell, she’s still residing "somewhere over the rainbow" on a broom ride to illumination. We cannot judge her harshly for the duration of her journey, for everyone’s journey is different. One person may walk, dance, and sing down the yellow brick road; and another person may soar above it on a broom. The Wizard Of Oz is treasured by gay people across the globe because it comprises so many gay sensibilities such as the importance of staying true to one's personal sense of style during every occasion, and the Wicked Witch of the West earns kudos for staying true to hers.
Dorothy also sought aid and comfort from three friends along the way. They proved themselves to be loving and supportive friends to Dorothy, but they were unable to answer her question of the soul. Each of her friends had his own issues that occupied him as the four of them simultaneously ventured down the path to illumination. The Scarecrow was seeking a brain for wisdom; the Cowardly Lion was seeking courage; the Tin Man was seeking a heart so that he could know love. Wisdom, courage, and love are admirable traits to possess; and the movie’s audience supports Dorothy’s friends in their quest for them. Ultimately, however, it was only Dorothy’s inner voice of intuition that answered her question of how to get back home, not her wise, courageous, and loving friends.
The surprising twist of The Wizard Of Oz is that throughout the entire movie, Dorothy was loyally accompanied every step of the way by her inner voice of intuition. Her inner voice of intuition was metaphorically represented by . . . Toto. Yes, Toto, Dorothy’s dog. Nothing could have been more appropriate. After all, dog is man’s best friend. Toto was the only one in the movie who always gave Dorothy correct advice, for one’s inner voice of intuition is never wrong. The pivotal scene in the cornfield clearly illustrates this point. It is the scene in which the Scarecrow speaks for the first time; and when he does, Dorothy is startled and speechless at first. She doesn’t believe her own ears, but Toto does. He, in fact, starts talking right back to the scarecrow in the only way a dog can – by barking. He was Dorothy’s inner voice of intuition; and he immediately and instinctively understood that in the scarecrows do, indeed, talk in the wonderful land of Oz. Dorothy, on the other hand, attempted to hush Toto and insisted to him that scarecrows do not talk. Dorothy should have listened to her inner voice of intuition, for it was God speaking to her.
In addition to having been correct about that fact that scarecrows talk in the land of Oz, Toto, Dorothy’s inner voice of intuition, was the only character smart enough to figure out that it was best to completely disregard the huffing, puffing, and fire-spewing imposture of the Wizard of Oz. He didn’t fall for any of the Wizard’s showy shenanigans for one minute. Let’s give credit where credit is due. It was Toto who pulled back that darn curtain and revealed the Wizard for who he really was: a bewildered, old fortune teller from Kansas. As Dorothy’s gang stood before the Wizard of Oz at his castle in Emerald City, the Cowardly Lion could do nothing but tremble because he was of the false belief that he lacked courage. The Scarecrow was in the grips of a self-fulfilling prophesy that he lacked wisdom; his failure to trust his inner voice of intuition also rendered him completely useless to Dorothy at that climactic moment. The Tin Man was frozen by the all-consuming thought that he lacked a heart even though he already possessed every gift he ever needed including loving, supportive friends. Once again it was left to Dorothy’s inner voice of intuition, known as her beloved dog Toto, to shed light upon the truth of the situation. In order to do so, Toto simply had to pull back a single curtain. Nothing could have been easier for a curious Cairn terrier. One’s inner voice of intuition does not lead one down a torturous path. Furthermore, Toto was the insightful soul who put in motion the set of circumstances that caused Dorothy to miss the balloon ride promised to her by the Wizard of Oz even though everyone else in the land of Oz believed that it was her only chance for salvation. He did so by listening to his own inner voice of intuition, which told him to do something as natural to a dog as . . . chasing a cat (at the just the perfect moment, of course). When Toto began chasing a cat, Dorothy chased after him because she could not be separated from her inner voice of intuition. As a result of chasing after Toto, Dorothy fortuitously missed the liftoff of the Wizard’s balloon. That balloon may have been the proper mode of transportation for the disgraced wizard; but it was not how Dorothy was supposed to get back to Kansas, which Toto had instinctively understood. That balloon ride would have been an ill-fated ride for Dorothy; for it was the solution of yet another outside voice, not her inner voice of intuition. Missing the balloon's liftoff kept Dorothy connected to her inner voice of intuition and forced her to face the realization that the power to return to Kansas had been solely within her the entire time. She never actually had any need to rely on anyone but herself to get back home to Kansas. Her sense of inadequacy and reliance on other people and things (like ruby slippers) to meet her needs were always an illusion. If Dorothy had gotten on that balloon, she would never have made that life-altering realization. Toto saved her again! It is worth noting that Toto's wise decision to chase a cat when he did was not exactly a difficult one for him to make. It merely required him to be who he was meant to be: a dog, which is how Dorothy’s inner voice of intuition chose to reveal itself. As a dog, Dorothy's inner voice of intuition could always be by her side as her trusty canine companion during the experience of life together in the physical realm of existence. Toto was the smartest and most highly evolved character in the movie.
Let’s review.
How did Toto lead Dorothy to the greatest realization of her life? By being exactly who he was born to be: a dog.
How did Dorothy eventually find her way back to Kansas? She listened to her inner voice of intuition, which was metaphorically represented by her dog Toto.
Did Dorothy’s inner voice of intuition provide her with a difficult answer to her soul-burning question? No. It was as easy as clicking her heels three times, something she had been capable of doing with ease all along her arduous journey, which would have ended much earlier if she had only listened to her inner voice of intuition, which was beside her the entire way in the physical manifestation of a loyal Cairn terrier named Toto. The word toto in Latin translates to all or everything. Toto certainly was an appropriate moniker for Dorothy's dog; for he was without question Dorothy’s everything, but he was most especially her inner voice of intuition. Toto served to guide and protect Dorothy with every step she took with or without those ruby slippers, which were nothing but a silly crutch provided by Glinda the Good Witch. Those ruby slippers only delayed Dorothy’s realization of the true source of her strength. It is rather amusing that The Wizard Of Oz, a film that is revered by gay people everywhere, puts so much emphasis on the false importance of shoes.
Yours is a question of the soul because it pertains to the core, elemental issue of who you are. It is the kind of question that can only be answered by looking within oneself. Seeking advice from others who have already been down the road you are traveling is appropriate in many cases; but certain deeply burning questions of the soul must ultimately fall back into your own lap. In this particular case, my most loving answer is to turn your question back to you. I cannot be your Munchkin or your Wizard of Oz. You must decide who you are by listening to your inner voice of intuition just as Dorothy had to find her way back home to Kansas by listening to hers.
Listen to your inner voice of intuition. Does it really agree with people who suggest that you can cure your gayness by eating more vegetables or getting more sleep and exercise? I find that suggestion to be ludicrous. Vegetables, exercise, and sleep don’t cure people of their straightness. Late in the movie, but before she is forced to confront the fact that only she can get herself back home, Dorothy does, in fact, listen to her inner voice of intuition for the first time. It occurs when Dorothy sees her friend the Scarecrow in life-threatening peril because the Wicked Witch of the West has set him on fire. In that moment, Dorothy grabs a bucket of water and throws it. Her quick response not only puts out the flames engulfing her friend made of straw, but melts the green Wicked Witch of the West as well. Dorothy had no way of knowing on her own that water would melt the Wicked Witch of the West. She had never been handed a guidebook on how to combat a wicked witch in the land of Oz; but her inner voice of intuition guided her to taking the only action that could have saved herself, her friend, her dog, and even the witch's trusty soldiers, who were so grateful to be freed from their service to the Wicked Witch of the West that they gladly handed over her broom because at the time Dorothy mistakenly believed that it was her ticket to Kansas.
Your inner voice of intuition will provide you with an answer that is as clearly illuminated as sparkling ruby slippers. It will not take you down a torturous path; but be prepared for the possibility that it will lead you to an answer that is not what you expected. Your intuition may give you an answer that is as surprising as realizing that you are already exactly where you are supposed to be . . . in your own GAY backyard. Dorothy and her friends came to that very realization. When they did, they found themselves back "at home" surrounded by people who truly loved them.
Listen to your inner voice of intuition. It cannot be stifled. The angry Miss Gulch from Kansas mightily to stifle Toto, Dorothy’s inner voice of intuition; but she failed miserably. She got a letter from the town’s sheriff ordering Auntie Em and Uncle Charlie to turn Toto over to her, and then she stuffed Toto into a basket and rode off to the tune of one of the most memorable film scores in cinematic history. Dorothy’s inner voice of intuition, however, could not be taken from her or suppressed. Toto was destined to be Dorothy’s eternal champion in both the physical realm of Kansas and the spiritual realm "somewhere over the rainbow", and he was easily able to free himself from Miss Gulch’s basket and return home to Dorothy.
As for the last part of your question regarding the possibility of not having the right parts, remember the Tin Man’s story. He thought he was missing a heart, but love was right beside him the entire time. His journey down the yellow brick road revealed that he had always been endowed with everything he ever needed and more. He never lacked a thing. He was always who he was born to be.
In the words of Dorothy, "I think I'll miss you most of all"; your question has touched my heart. Listen to your intuition; and your troubles will melt like... lemon drops.
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