I’ve caught my 15 year old son sending and receiving nudes to another guy. He’s told me he’s bisexual. I’m having a difficult time explaining that I’m not angry with his sexuality, I’m angry with him sexting! I hope that makes sense. My question to young gay/bi people is; how common/normal is it for young people to be sexting? If he’s sexting a boy does it mean he’s gay or bi or could he just be curious? The accompanying conversations were also explicit. I know I’m reacting in the same way I would if I caught him sexting a girl but it’s a really tricky one. This was not by text message but on FB instant message, on his iPad. Is the sexting just a phase he will grow out of? Should I stop snooping? I’m concerned for his safety and worried he may be groomed. He’s very immature and suffers serious impulse control issues.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I’m a 20 year old guy. From my perspective I don’t think it’s too weird. The only thing I would be concerned about is who the other guy is. If it’s a peer or classmate or someone around his age then I’d say he’s fine. If he’s sexting some 50 year old, then that might be a problem. Sexting is not that out of the norm for a 15 year old boy. It’s just the result of growing up in 2016. He may grow out of it. Once I got out of high school sexting seemed kind of childish to me. So I’m sure it’s just a phase. Boyish hormones and what not. As for the snooping, I don’t know. I’d be mad at my mom for it when I was that age. But now I’d realize that she was just trying to protect me and had my best interest at heart. You seem like a really good mom. I wish my mom was that cool. Just being okay with him expressing his sexuality in a non straight way is a really pretty amazing. I would just tell him the same way you asked the question. You’re not mad about him being bi, you’re mad about him sexting. I think he’d understand that. I just wouldn’t make a huge deal of it or punish him for it, that’s just going to make it worse. It’s really too early to tell if he’s just curious or really bisexual or even gay. That’s something he’ll have to figure out as he gets older. But if he’s okay with telling you he’s bisexual I’m sure there will come a time when he tells you what he really feels. Once he figures it out himself. I think you’re on the right track.