General Question and Answer Archive

My husband told me that he thinks he’s gay. We’ve been married for only two years but have been dating for almost eleven years. He recently took a job in another state and is finding us a home out there. I’m still living in our current state waiting for our house to sell. In any event, I miss him terribly but tonight he told me on the phone that he thinks he might be gay. I started to cry and asked him why? He said he’s been thinking about it for the past six months but I only think he believes this because I’ve been the only person he’s slept with in his entire life. And the face that six months he found out that I cheated on him once before we got married. He was understandably upset and rightly so. But he says he thinks he’s gay because he has recently liked watching gay porn and although he says he doesn’t want to leave me or even experiment with a man, he just wanted to be honest with me. Please tell me what to do, I love my husband and don’t want to leave him.

Val

I would check out www.straightspouse.org. It has a forum that might be of interest you. You should definitely put yourself and your well being first. Also, consider seeking counseling for the marriage and separately for yourself.

AMW

The positive is that your husband is honest. This is good. My one very important point is to not personalize his homosexuality as your fault, if he is indeed gay. I will make this short and sweet, go see a professional to help you both through this very important and confusing time in your marriage. Have a family or marriage counselor guide you both through these new waters to safe the land of marriage or friendship.

Be good to each other and good luck.

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