I am a woman, and there is a lady who I work with that smiles, stares, and small talks with me. I wrote her a letter and she turns me in to her boss. The next day she is standing in the hall, staring at me, I look at her, and turn my head. She is still standing there staring or looking at me for a long time. What does that stare or look mean?
Val
If she turned you in to the boss then I wouldn't even bother trying to figure out what is in her head or what her deal is... unless you are independently wealthy and can pay your rent and bills once you become unemployed for sexual harassment. It won't look good on your resume either. Leave her alone, don't bother with the stare, and look for romance outside of the workplace.
Justin
Sexual liaisons in the workplace are highly problematic. I strongly advise against them. You have also learned a valuable lesson about written communications in the work place. Whether you are writing an e-mail as part of your official duties or writing a personal note to a co-worker, do not write anything that you would not want broadcast on the evening news. You cannot claim an expectation of privacy in the workplace.
FOLLOW UP QUESTION:
I am leaving her alone, but I still am wondering if she feels something for me, or is it a game some people play? Is that what the stare means? She feels something for me.
Val
The stare means she's an emotional lunatic, and you should be grateful you figured this out sooner rather than later. If she turned you in I would say she is not interested in you. It is hard to hear, especially if you have spent your time, energy, and emotions on her, but you must really understand that if someone turned you in to your boss, they are essentially saying they want you to stop your behavior. If she turned you in to the boss, then she felt compelled to get an authority figure involved to make clear to you to leave her alone. Someone who is interested in you even in the most minuscule sense would not treat you like this. You shouldn't expect anything less than complete respect from anyone you seek to have a relationship with. If you feel that your thoughts are dominated by her and you can't seem to move on from this, I would gently suggest talking to a professional counselor. Also, CODA(Co-Dependents Anonymous) is a great resource, and some valuable life skills can be learned through them, especially with regards to boundary issues you may or may not have. A refresher in this area is always a good idea for everyone once in a while.
Justin
This woman has mistreated you. She has jeopardized your employment and engaged in odd, misleading behavior. She is trouble with a capital T, and you should have nothing to do with her.
O.J. led Nicole to believe that he felt something for her. She, unfortunately, is now dead; and he, thankfully, is in prison where he belongs.
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